excuse me please
I am a little confused
struggling to understand
normality refused.
thoughts can be wild
emotions are strong
to run and to hide
do I belong?
I would like to believe
that I think as I know
I would like to live
without the dark doubt's shadow.

I am scared of my honesty
for it caught me by surprise
I am worried by my vulnerability
how I will look in your eyes.
for the words I found myself saying
were truer than I knew
they now challenge who I am
what I say and what I do.
how can I feign belonging
pretending that I wear
the cloth and the colour
and that certain holy air
I am scared of my honesty
there are much more questions now
will I have to speak, to give account
I really don't know how.

The tongue slipped

And I tripped

And fell into flippancy

Oh so regretfully

Speaking before

I had thought.

In an instant

Found wishing

I was somewhere else

Fishing, instead of

Ashamed and

Distraught.

have I said too much?
are you exhausted?
looking for retreat?
my murky imagery
draining life from you all?

this journey
this tiresome
wearisome
irksome
journey
the colours have faded
even the contrast
has become greyed.

the years have passed
yet the high road
that flowed beneath my view
still has a hold
and calls my name.

where is the blue of the sea
the rainbows
the laughter
the order
the chaos
where is that funny man
running and running?
yes, we caught him,
held him,
trained him
but,
where has he gone?

It is raining on the inside
and the sun outside
is making me feel guilty.

there are memories
gentle wakeful dreams
they fill my senses
with their peace.

I look behind me
quiet, water-stilled memories
I sigh and remember.

there was healing
on these island shores.
healing that was tied to her rocks
and her sands
and her morning-light.

My mind drifts forward,
past today with it's fears
and anxieties
and I search for another place,
another pleasant place
of lapping and lulling.

I pray,
I hope
sometimes
I even
wish

there is a home for me
perhaps
my heart is there now.

Single Tribute 

(to the King of Pop)

Wanna be startin’ something

Pretty young thing

Blood on the dance floor

Jam, Billie Jean

 

Girl you’re so together, Bad

Dirty Diana, The girl is mine

Girlfriend, In the closet, Butterflies

Remember the time

 

Who is it, Stranger in Moscow

Man in the mirror

Smooth criminal Thriller

Liberian Girl Leave me alone

 

They don’t care about us

She’s out of my life, HIStory

What more can I give

Just a little bit of you

 

I wanna rock with you

You rock my world

Rockin Robin, Ben, Beat it

Music and Me, Heal the world

 

Don’t stop til you get enough

I just can’t stop loving you

The way you make me feel

Another part of me

 

Black or White, Human Nature

Happy, We are the world

Off the wall, Scream, Cry

You can’t win, This time around

 

Give in to me, We’re almost there

You are not alone, Heaven can wait

Will you be there? Got to be there

I wanna be where you are

 

Ain’t no sunshine, Gone too soon

Farewell my summer love

With a child’s heart

One day in your life

One more chance

This took longer to write than I expected, but I managed it. The name of every single released (as listed by wikipedia)... all in one poem.

Rest in Peace, Michael.

I pray
the glimmer of light,
rays that are more than bright
may invade your night.

I pray
the peace of still waters
may flow 'round your troubled sea
so gentle, in hope abide.

The Falling Man

Why do you stay?

Is it easy that way?

I can see no path

Of least resistance

No simple strategy

In tragic choice

I’m wishing I was

The Falling Man

Motion suspended

Caught in the fall

By the lens of grace

And mercy.

That’s all.

I cannot dance

I will not sing

These hands do not

Paint anything

I shrink away

From recognition

Now the pain

Is my submission

The thing with feathers*

Has gone and I

Am in the cage

It left behind.

Stock photo

*salute to Emily Dickinson's "Hope is the thing with feathers..."

(love her!!)

Pride goes before a fall

A warning I have heard

Since childhood

Complacently sure

It would never be said

Of me.

It’s always someone else

Some poor, sad, stupid sod

Who finds himself

Deceived and far away

From God.

Not me.

 

Pride goes before a fall

They say

But what on earth

comes after it?

They haven’t sent

The ambulance

To the bottom of the cliff

This time, still

Blindly content

To continue the warning.

But I

have already

fallen.

Photos by Mar Boy